I Could Tell You

I've tried about 4 times this week to write a blog post worth reading.
But honestly, I can't do it.
It's not that I have nothing going on in my life, or that I'm upset about something in particular.

I just haven't had words in my heart to write this week.

I could tell you that packing is going fine. That I'm currently avoiding it.
I could tell you that Matthias has a very stressful day ahead of him today, at work.
I could tell you that I found another spider in the shower on Wednesday morning.
I could tell you that there are only 2 1/2 more days that the phrase "I found another spider..." will be a part of my regular vocabulary.
I could tell you that I've been listening only to country music the past 2 days, and it's been lovely. It's honestly the only genre of music I listened to from age 4-18. Widening my musical horizons for the past 3 years has been one of the coolest things I've ever done.
But I totally just made a kick-butt country playlist.
I could tell you that last night, Matthias and I laid in bed with Pizza Hut pizza, watching The Winnie The Pooh Movie. We were cracking up. Pooh is the absolute sweetest thing ever.
I could tell you that the new neighbors behind us smoke cigarettes. And the smell has somehow found its way into our apartment, making our kitchen smell like cigarette smoke. Yuck.
I could tell you that, currently, I'm sitting cross-legged in my pajamas, facing the headboard of my bed, sipping grape juice.
I could tell you I made Cinnamon-Sugar Toast for myself this morning. But my mom makes it better.
I could tell you that this week went by crazy-fast. Unbelievably fast. Which is great.
But I could also tell you that it was a rough week. Another. I've had 3 in a row.

And I could tell you that it's probably mostly all my own fault.
Because I am a control freak.
And it is killing me.
It's killing my relationships, my joy, my heart, and my trust in God.
Satan knows my weakness and he uses it against me every single chance he gets.

I. have. got. to. chill.

I could tell you that this post makes my heart very vulnerable. Pray for me, please, friends.


"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways" declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Why I'm Happy Today

Aside from being a complete-over-the-top-more-than-usual-emotional-wreck the past couple weeks, I am taking a few moments to write about the things that are making me happy today.

Happy+Blessed+Overwhelmed+Excited+Stressed+Thankful = More Emotional... More Lumps in my throat and stinging in my nose, threatening to make me burst into tears at any possible moment.

Oh, it is so fun. Let me tell ya. Just ask Matthias.

Here's why I'm happy today.

1. Randomly waking up at 5:30ish THREE times this week with my husband. For no reason at all, our bodies just woke us up. Normally, this is an awful thing because I hate loathe waking up before my alarm goes off... but those sweet mornings cuddled up in the quiet have been very nice for us. Mmmm  (:  It's good for my heart to dwell on these simple moments with him.

2. Texting my not so little anymore  cousin, Jenna. She went to her Senior Prom last night. (Man, I'm getting old.) And she looked absolutely gorgeous. I honestly just teared up typing that last sentence about her being gorgeous... see, I'm a wreck. I can't express how proud of her I am and how much I hate that I have to be so far, watching these fun times through facebook and texting.

Sweet, sweet Jenna. Here's us when we were Little Bitties.

I just LOVE her face! And, I know you're jealous of my bangs.

3. Packing. We are moving in 9 days. It is a bittersweet thing. I love having something to do on Saturdays when Matthias is at work... and we are more than absolutely ready to be out of this apartment... but. It will always be 'Our First Apartment'. No matter how much we like it here or not, it's the first place we've ever lived together... The first place I've ever lived other than my parents house and a dorm room... Where we spent our first Married Holidays, Birthdays, etc. We talked (and I cried, of coarse) a little bit about this last night. We'll kind of miss this small little smelly crummy place. (We have too much stuff!)

 

4. Talking on the phone with my best friend in the world, Leneigh, for A WHOLE HOUR this morning. Yes, folks, it was marvelous. It's always great to hear her voice and talk each others ears off when we have a free second. And she doesn't get many of those; she's SO busy. The kind of busy where she's moving to THAILAND in less than 4 months. Holy cow. But that's all for another post.  God is amazing. So proud of her.

5. Last night we signed the Lease for the new apartment! Hip, Hip, HORRAY!

6. Also last night, Matthias and I watched the very last episode ever of Friends. (Greatest show ever to be on TV. Ever.) It took us 2 years, but we finished them all. No words to describe how empty we feel now. We are probably going to start back from Season 1 again pretty soon. Once we find and unpack the Movie Box.

7. Our wedding rings are currently at Kay Jeweler's getting their bi-yearly cleaning/inspection/rhodium-dipping! I am so excited to see my sparkly ring again! My finger is quite lost and confused without it.

8. Playing "Draw Something" with my wonderful Sis-In-Law, A'Lisa. So funny and entertaining.

9. Having a 'First Conversation Ever' with someone who I used to not like very much. I'm so thankful for her forgiveness, and the fact that God can take away the grudges I hold.

10. Big huge reason why I'm happy right here: God got rid of the spiders. I'm not kidding. The last one I saw/killed was a whole week ago. I've been praying hard that He would make them leave and not follow us to the next apartment. I believed He would, and He has. Incredible, He is.

I'm unbelievably thankful.

11. I was reading Leneigh's latest blog post this morning. (Go follow her story, please: http://leneighjanette.wordpress.com/ just click that website!) And it was there that she broke out the most exciting news! She and Kirsten (another one of my best friends) are going to be driving down to visit us in just 27 days. I don't think I'll be able to contain my excitement for that long. I haven't seen Leneigh since our Tim Horton's date while Matthias and I were in Michigan for Christmas, and I'm pretty sure the last time I saw Kirsten was Thanksgiving-time, for breakfast at Bob Evans. Is that right?! WOW. Seriously, I cannot wait. Mark it on your calendars, people, and title it:  

"May 18-20th: Coolest Weekend Ever, Since The Last Coolest Weekend, Of Coarse."

 Love love LOVE them!

And last but not least, number 12. The delicious bean dip I'm going to make tonight. YUM.

Sing to the Lord a new song, for He has done marvelous things! Psalms 98:1

Congratulations to you if you made it the whole way through this post.

To my man

To you, oh hubby of mine.

 

You have been working so hard for us lately, and I never want you to feel that it is unnoticed. I don't think I've ever been so proud of you as I am now, seeing you in this role as a husband. You truly are selfless in our marriage, doing literately everything for me that you can. You have put up with countless nights of my bad mood and selfish whining... We have always said that no one else loves me as much as you do, and that no one else but you can handle me.

The past 8 months have proved both of these things true. Thank you, thank you.

Being able to witness your sweet excitement for the things that God is starting to unfold with your music is so incredible. Not just that, but you are at a job that you absolutely love. After being down here almost 9 months, I can finally feel peace here. Peace in you, peace in me. We are blessed, baby. I'm blessed to get to be your wife. I would follow you around the world, if He asked. Okay, well, I'd be kind of afraid. But I'd do it.

I know how much you worry. In fact, I may be one of the only ones who know how much you worry. But trust me, everything is going to be okay. We've been saying it since we were teenagers and we will say it until the day we die: Everything is going to be okay.
God knows your heart and He sees your worry. He knows your thoughts that are left un-shared when we lay in bed in the dark. He covers you with His hand every morning and takes care of you like only He can. He is good, and He provides. Remember that.

For you, my love. I know you don't really read my blog... I know you think it's a little lame. But I'm hoping that one day you'll decide to wander on over and find this love letter.

Because you are awesome, sweet boy.

My heart is full.

This song has been hard pressed on my heart all week.
I love that it pictures the consistency of God, and our faith in Him.
Whether we are searching or we have found Him,
there is still the same beautiful urgency in the cry of our hearts.

Jesus, I trust You, because You have saved me...
I praise You, because You have saved me.
I am Yours... I am Yours...


Love Came Down by Kari Jobe

"If my heart is overwhelmed
And I cannot hear Your voice
I hold on to what is true
Though I cannot see

If the storms of life they come
And the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith
I will believe

I'll remind myself
Of all that You've done
And the life I have
Because of Your son
 
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours
I am forever Yours
Mountains high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am Yours
I am forever Yours

When my heart is filled with hope
Every promise comes my way
When I feel Your hands of grace
Rest upon me
Staying desperate for You, God
Staying humble at Your feet
I will lift these hands in praise
I will believe

I'll remind myself
Of all that You've done
And the life I have
Because of Your son

Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours
I am forever Yours
Mountains high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am Yours
I am forever Yours

I am Yours
I am Yours
All my days
Jesus, I am Yours"

Family, Spiders, Broken Bones, and Scuba

What a crazy week it has been. My in-laws drove down to visit for Easter weekend. So sweet. With them came my brother (Drew) and one of Matthias' brothers (MacKenzie).
What a great weekend we had...

 Impromptu Picnic in the Kroger parking lot with Daddy Frank.

The Brothers. Still asleep. As always.

Literately, we look like dwarfs.
And what in the heck is my left foot doing?!

And now.

Since then... much has happened. Actually, an unbelievable amount of 'much' has happened, people. In fact, all the 'much' actually deserves its very own post. But oh well...

- Monday. Normal day. Ate lots of leftovers.

-Tuesday. Not a normal day. I came home from work to discover that the infestation of some pretty poisonous spiders in our little apartment is back... Back with vengeance. I proceed to scream, do the icky deadly spider dance, kill that fiddle-marked sucker, and swear to myself and Matthias that I AM DONE. And that we are leaving this apartment as soon as possible. So I pack until the wee hours of the night like a crazy lady.

-Wednesday. My awesome husband handles the problem wonderfully. He calls our apartment's office.... And (long story short) they are going to let us leave early (our lease isn't up until August) and they waived the absolutely ridiculous early termination fee! We only have to pay rent for May, which is less than half of what the fee was. God is good. We have 30 days to be out, but Matthias set the 'Goal Move Out/In Date' to the 23rd... APRIL 23RD. Um, that's 11 days. Eleven.
(Also, I just realized that it's Anthony's birthday, too. But that's besides the point.)

-Thursday. Today. I'm at work, painting itty bitty 4 year old finger and toe nails, and snuggling with my favorite 14 month old in all of Tennessee. Life is good. We are applying to a new, magical, Heaven-like place tomorrow morning, and will know soon all the actual plans. But until then, looks like I have some packing to do.

Last night (Wednesday) my brother was outside riding his dirt bike... as he has done since he was a tiny tot, and he got a little too brave. The results are an extremely painful broken collarbone and lots of Vicodin. Poor sweet Bubby :(
But we are praising God that his injuries aren't more serious, because Drew has always been very accident-prone. My family and I would greatly appreciate your prayers for his healing, his pain and also his complete boredom as he sits in the recliner for the next 2 months.


Also! One last thing! Congratulations to my incredible siblings! The other night, they both passed the super hard test to become certified Scuba-Divers!! They both worked so hard!
So proud of you, Drew and Leah! Sis loves you!

On my heart

This has been on my heart all week. So I thought I'd share.

Lately, I've been reading the book A Beautiful Offering by Angela Thomas.

To put it simply, it's one of the greatest books I've read in a long, long time.

Seriously.

It's about the act of choosing to fall in love with God over and over,

and using your life (wherever you are in it) to present for Him as your Love Offering.

Go buy this book.

When I read books, whatever genre they are, I always underline and highlight sentences and passages that mean something to me, that tug at my heart, that are beautifully put, that I want to remember, etc. (I do it with Harry Potter, even, and it drives Matthias crazy every time I have to stop reading aloud just to underline "some silly little comment that Hermione made").

So anyways. This week I read a chapter that really stuck with me,

and my favorite part of the chapter goes like this:

"Maybe it's really possible to keep falling in love. Maybe the Creator wants to keep bringing us back to life, afresh and anew...They say that when you fall in love, the two of you begin to look alike.

May it be so. Oh, sweet Jesus, may it be so." (pg56/57)

Oh, my heart.

I'm not entirely sure why, but the simplicity of the request "may it be so, sweet Jesus" makes my heart jump and my eyes well up. To look like Jesus because He is who I'm in love with.

I can't think of much else that would be better than that.

For people to have an encounter with me, a conversation with me, even a glace of me walking down the street... and take away from the experience that who I am resembles the Son of God...

...Humble. Caring. A Servant. Passionate. Joyful. Kind. Attentive. Merciful. Generous...

...Love.

May it be so, my Sweet Jesus, may it be so.

Lovely weekend

This weekend was one of the greatest weekends I've ever had. No joke, folks. It was awesome.

On Friday night, three of our sweet friends from Michigan surprised us came to visit us! Being so far away from home and our best friends is very hard, and we are always so giddy the entire week leading up to when they'll be here. After work, I met them and Matthias at Burger Up for dinner. It was our first time there, and it was delicious! The juiciest burger that's ever been in my mouth. Also, I sipped my first alcohol in a public place as a big-bad-grown-up-21-year-old-lady! Woop! Thanks, Mike! The 5 of us stayed up extremely late into the night, I'm talkin' 2:00 a.m., people. Holy smokes. But it was worth it. On Saturday morning we ate Melt-in-Your-Mouth pancakes and spent about 2 hours deciding what we wanted to do for the day.

We did a little hiking.

A little hydrating.

Some exploring.

The brave men went cliff-jumping. Best friends. They're so sweet.

Kayce Wayce  (:

My sweet boy.

Oh, how I miss seeing her every single day.

Kayce takes wonderful pictures.

We may or may not have had a little run-in with some local police officers.... oops. Great story for the grandkids, right?

Just in case I was thinking that the weekend couldn't get any better, God went ahead and blessed me even more. My little sister was in town on her Spring Chorus Tour. (Go check out MDYC!) Matthias, Kayce and I were all in the same chorus in High School. So we spent the evening catching up with the sweet director and lots of good friends. Also, Sweet Sis and her packing partner were able to stay the night at my apartment! God is so good! We had such a fun girls' night!

On Sunday, we went to church and got gas for only $3.59 a gallon!

We enjoyed naps.

And went to the MDYC concert. GO SISSY!

Oh, hey Anthony...

Beautiful girl.

I love you, Leah. So proud of you!

And now 'tis Monday. I peeled myself out of bed and 6 o'clock and went to work. I took the little girls that I nanny for to their Grandma's house for the day. What a nice way to change up our normal schedule. We had so much fun, all of us! And while the girls were napping, their Grandma and I were enjoying coffee/chatting/reading... Just lovely. Then she asked me if I'd like to go home and take the afternoon off. After the crazy, sleep-deprived weekend that I just had?! Absolutely! So now I'm home, relaxing, my favorite song is on and I'm thinking about going outside and reading some good ole' Harry Potter.

Oh, happy day.

God bless Grandma!

I'll leave you with one of my new favorite pictures.

 So in love with him.