Morning hours

It's 6:30 in the morning and I just got our happy, smiley girl back to sleep. She slept for 7 hours straight last night without waking to be fed. She woke up at 4:40, we snuggled, she ate, she dozed off, only to wake up thirty minutes later.

Happy. Curious. Ready to smile.

Her Daddy and I talked and laughed and kissed her until she was hungry again.

And now she lays next to me.

Sleeping sweet.

I wonder how long she will prefer to sleep like this, on our sides with her face buried deep in my chest? How long will she need to grasp my shirt or hair while she is eating and falling asleep? I wonder how long I'll get to be all that she needs. When will her breath loose its milky sweet smell?

Being a mama... her mama... Has been the sweetest and happiest moments of my life. I want to remember all of it.

The way she calms down the second she hears the bath water running.

The cute little voice my husband uses when he walks in the front door, scoops her up and says, "Hi, baby! Oh, I missed you all the day!"

The absolutely ridiculous face she makes as she poops. And how it makes me laugh every single time.

Family Prayer. The way my husband lays his hands on both of his girls each night, thanks God for us, and prays for our safety.

The middle-of-the-night-feedings... When I can barely step out of bed and lift her from her cradle. The ever present, deep feeling of exhaustion. Knowing that there will never be another night where I sleep all night... Never again a morning to sleep-in... And learning to be grateful for these interrupted nights and long days.

The way her smile overtakes her entire body. Watching the grin grow until it forces her body to curl over toward her toes, or launch her over to the side... Eyes squinted, toothless gums visible, joy in our hearts.

The inhale squeal that tells me she is laughing.

The way she looks up at me while she's eating. Eyes wide open, curious and filled with love.

The lonely feeling. Being sad every morning when Matthias leaves for work. But knowing that he goes because he loves us, and he works to provide for us.

The way our dog protects her. When she naps, he goes into the bedroom and lays down next to the bed. He follows us when we walk to other rooms. He sniffs her when she plays on the floor.

The second of disbelief when I think, "This is my daughter. This is our little family." Then the happiness when I realize that these two loves of mine will always, always be in my life.

And I'll always, always love them.