As I finally sit down to type out a blog post, I am realizing that it has been two weeks since I've posted. And goodness, what a two weeks it has been.
There are so many things I want to say...
about what's been going on in life...
about the fun we've been having with our visitors...
about the way God has been moving my heart more than He has in a while...
about dreams and worship and emotional talks with my husband...
about cute little Pinterest projects that I want to do...
about places that I want to go and adventures that I want to have...
about silly things like style and clothes and our dog...
But I keep getting stuck on one thought. This blog.
What is it for? Is this some kind of public diary? Is it the best way for me to express my heart tangibly? Am I writing for my glory, or for God's? How much of my heart and fears should I share on the blog? What does it even matter, because no one really reads my blog anyways...? And how will I get people to understand that I'm not asking for attention or recognition? How do I get them to read and see through my poor story telling, stupid jokes... and find that there is something greater that I want to say in this little corner of the Internet.
Something I've been aching to say... dying to scream.
Something that I don't even have the words for.
Maybe I'm taking things to seriously and making everything so heavy. Maybe I need to lighten up and just let it go. Maybe there's really nothing wrong and I'm just making this all up.
Or maybe. Maybe God has put this restlessness in my Spirit with a purpose. Maybe this is a wake up call, while I just sit here, selfishly pressing Snooze over and over. Maybe I'm not where I need to be.
Of coarse I'm not where I need to be. Maybe there needs to be some changes. Changes in me. Changes in where I'm going.
Like I said, God is doing big things. Great big things.
