Hey there, sweet baby.
...My sweet baby boy.
A couple of weeks ago, your Daddy, big sister and I got to hear your heartbeat. It was one of the best moments of my life, and when the midwife let Addi help find your heart, my own heart exploded. You are healthy and you sound wonderful.
And three days ago, your Daddy and I walked excitedly into a little room, where we watched you move and kick and yawn, on a screen. We learned that you are a boy. A boy. My son. I always knew you were. You are going to fit so perfectly into our little family, you already do. We cannot wait to learn how to raise up a little man. I am so excited to kiss you and hold you close.
We also learned something else.
You have two kidneys in your sweet, tiny body. One of those kidneys is very healthy and strong, but the other kidney is not. It has a lot of cysts on it, and those cysts make it very hard for it to do its job for your body.
Since we learned this, we have been praying and begging God all day long, every single day, to heal your sweet kidney. To protect your healthy one from cysts. And to bring you into our arms safely, full of life and health and love.
Fill us up with Love, God.
They want to check on you often, my little love. They say there's a chance that you'll live a normal life. They say there's a chance you might not. They say.
But, I know the One who created you.
The Creator of the earth and Heavens, Redwood trees and Mosquitos, humans and oceans. King of Justice and Lord of Mercy... I know Him. And HE SAYS that you belong to Him.
And you know what, sweet boy?
He made you. He formed you, gently inside my body. He breathed life and movement into your arms, legs and head. He thought of you even before He made the trees and the animals. He picked you, before people walked around and before buildings were built. He knows you, Owen.
Daddy and I have waited for you and have loved you since before we got married, before Addi was born, and before we knew you are a boy. We picture you, tiny and wrinkly, with big cheeks and no hair, sleeping on my chest. We picture you crawling across the floor, getting into your sisters toys. We picture you learning to read and write and to love others well. We picture you making friends, taking young ladies out on dates, and meeting your wife. We picture you, wise and determined, leading others gently and with passion toward The Lord. Loving them wholeheartedly, sacrificing your needs for the needs of others.
Oh, my little boy.
One of your kidneys is sick. But we know the Healer. The Protector and the Savior. The God of Miracles. We are calling on Him to heal you, to protect you, to give you life and life in its fullness. To show His power and strength over this world and the darkness of it.
We've got a pretty great feeling about your Story, baby boy.
Your Daddy and I chose your name four years ago. And guess what??
Your first name means "Young Fighter".
Your middle name "strong man, brave."
Like I said, God knew you, before you were formed. He is good.
I love you, Owen Andrew.
In the deepest part of my soul, I love you and I desperately want you.
Love,
Mama
"... But this I call to mind, and
therefore I have HOPE: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never faill.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:21-23
