Grand Opening of Matthias & Keilah's Bed & Breakfast

Throughout the next 5 weeks or so, we have every single weekend and most weekdays filled with family and friends visiting us. Holy cow pies!

We are so very excited. Honestly. It's going to be great, and such a blessing to spend time with people who love and support us.

No sleep?!
Bring. It. On.

Fear

 For most of my adult life, I have lived in Fear.

It has taken many forms:
crutch, handcuff, and earmuff.
Fear has been my tool of self support.
It has kept me chained when I want to break free.
And it has helped me ignore the call of God.

Fear has been my friend. My closest enemy.

But God has been doing some hard work on my heart lately. Beautiful, but terrifying work. I won't go into details here... But I will say that I am at the weirdest place I've ever been in my life.
Standing at some very exciting, intimidating, passionate and life-changing crossroads.
And it scares me to death.

The only thing my heart holds onto is the promise of God.
He is the Rock to which I'm clinging and the Knower who I call on for answers.

1 John 4:18a says this.
"There is no fear in love. Perfect Love casts out fear."
It's as simple as that.

Jesus is the Perfect Love, and through His name, there will be
no more fear in me. Where He is, is where I want to be.

Be brave, Keilah. Be brave

The Best

You know when your husband comes home from work 4 1/2 hours late, on a Friday night, when you had a pretty awesome Date-Night-In planned for the two of you? And then when he finally is home, as hard as you try, you just can't keep from being ridiculously crabby and irrational? And just when you could almost weep from the mixture of all your emotions swirling around like those crazy fast spinny rides at the carnival that pins you to its walls, he walks toward you, opens his arms, says "Come'ere" and suddenly you melt and things seem a little better? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. And yeah, it's the best.

And you know those Saturday mornings when you wrap up in a blanket and go onto the balcony, sip your coffee and read 3 entire chapters of Harry Potter in one sitting, just because you can?

Yes, also the best.

And then you and your husband have a fight. Right in the middle of your "New and Improved Date Night". Yep, right there in the Lowe's parking lot. But you make up and say "I'm Sorry" because you are madly in love with each other. Then you try a delicious restaurant that you've never been to. And you know when you're in the movie theater, with his hand on your leg and suddenly you can't remember the reason why you were crying in the Lowe's parking lot 2 hours earlier? And then he squeezes your leg to say "I love you" and you can feel it in your heart?...

...It's the best

Memorial Weekend

I flew home to sweet, sweet Michigan, in hopes of surprising my family... and I was thiiiiiis close to pulling it off. Darn. But it was a lovely weekend... It sure was hard to leave my sweet husband here in Tennessee, but the time with my family was very much needed, to say the absolute least.

I knew I missed home, but wasn't aware of how much I missed home until I got there.

It may not look like much to you, but this is one of my favorite sights in the world.

I could pick out that driveway and those trees from thousands.

Home.
Oh, my heart.

We packed up and drove up to camp, where we spent a few days with our extended family and some lifelong friends.

 

 

 

Hearts received healing and there were tears of laughter running down our cheeks most of the weekend. Loving on my parents and siblings for 5 whole days... There are few things that bring me such joy as this.

I thank God for the time we had. He has been doing big, heartbreaking, and amazing things in my family lately. He pushes us out of our comfort zone to trust Him more. He is good and faithful in our lives, and He always brings the peace that we pray for.

Thank you to my Daddy and my Papa for serving in the U.S. Military, working to glorify God and keep our country safe. We love you. What a wonderful Memorial Day it was.

It made the second weekend in a row that I've been blessed to have a break from reality, a chance to breathe. And I never want to say goodbye, because it's so very hard... having to leave my baby sister at the airport entrance, watching her cry while she waves to me... it shatters my heart.

Sometimes knowing that where I am in life right now isn't where God needs me to be gets me feeling very defeated. It's Satan's way of laughing in my face. And it hurts...

But these are times when my sweet Lord soothes my aching soul and gives me the courage I need.

I can honestly say, with my whole heart, that I have the greatest family.
God is good. Can you feel it?

Break From Reality

Last Friday, I got the blessing of saying hello to some of my very best friends.
Then Sunday afternoon, I had to say goodbye, once again, to those sweet friends.

Matthias and I are completely blessed; we have incredible friends and family who take the time to drive down and visit us. About once a month, we get to see a group of people who we love. Pretty sweet deal, I must say.

This weekend, my best friend Leneigh and old roommate Kirsten came down. With them were two of Matthias' best friends: Anthony (also Leneigh's boyfriend) and Keith.

My heart hasn't been so overwhelmed and full in a very long time.

There are a handful of moments from this past weekend that I've tucked away in my heart...

-Driving home from work, giddy and filled with anticipation to see their sweet faces.

-The first hug, tears and smiles.

-Staying up until 2 in the morning, listening to the boys play guitar in the dark.... Singing and worshiping our sweet God all night, just like we used to.

-The way my living room looks when I walk out early in the morning.... The boys sleeping anywhere they could find.... Couch, chair, next to the TV, under the table... I really do love that sight.

-Morning whispers with my best friend.

-Exploring. Mmmm, exploring.

-The helping hands of people who truly care.... Have I mentioned that I'm blessed?

-Driving down the country roads, singing along to our favorite Lady Antebellum songs. Smiling into the rear view mirror.

-Going on a quick hike, trying to beat the rain. Jumping for "Tarzan Vines" and running up the "You Can Do It" hill. Then running down the mountain, laughing with Keith, not able to get our legs to slow down.

-Laying, spread legged, on the bathroom floor while my husband and best friend dig a tick out of my inner thigh. So great.

-Going to church, singing with my sweet friends "...on Christ, the solid Rock, I stand. All other ground is sinking sand... Til He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I'll stand..."

-Sitting in the back of Matthias' truck, riding with him, Anthony and Leneigh... Thinking, "So perfect, so perfect, so perfect."

-Hugs and sobbing into each others shoulders. Saying goodbye.

-Watching the car drive away, arms out the window and hearing "bye!" and "I love you!" The greatest and saddest sound.

Okay, that was more than a handful I guess.

To Anthony, Leneigh, Kirsten and Keith: Thank you for coming to stay with us. Never once did we feel like "hosts". We wish it could've lasted longer, but we are so very glad for our super fun weekend! I'm pretty upset that we didn't really get many pictures of our weekend.
You guys rock, and we love you.

Before they all drove away, we stood in a circle and said one last prayer. Matthias thanked God for the wonderful weekend and asked for their protection on the drive home. He used the phrase, "Thank you for this break from reality" and it has stuck with me since.

What used to be our every day reality is now just a 'break from reality'. It's amazing to me how life is changing. And also amazing is God's faithfulness through it all. Maybe, Lord willing, our every day reality will one day be similar to this weekend. Oh, how sweet that would be.

Special Delivery from The Sis

A package came for me!!! Hip! Hip! Horray!

Have I mentioned before how sweet my sister is?

It's my late birthday present, and it's great.

1. A precious love letter.

2. The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks.

3. Cute new sun glasses.

Thank you, Leah! I cannot wait until the next time I get to kiss your sweet cheeks.

Dog Owners

The rumors are true.

Keilah, the one who dislikes dogs of most shapes, sizes and smells... now has a dog.

A canine, if you will.

The begging started about 2 months ago. All the husband ever wanted all the time was a baby dog. Something for him to take care of and train and to love and to play with and protect us and all sorts of mushy stuff that would make one want to puke.

I can't tell you how many times I said "No" and broke that sweet man's heart.

You see, I look at dogs as what they simply are: dogs. I think they're great if they are outdoor/garage/barn dogs. I think they're helpful around the farm and can bring protection to the family. I like obedient and calm dogs. All is good and well there.

But my problem lies in the whole stinky/shedding/annoying/licking/smelly/spastic/needy/pooping/scratching side of dogs. These are all characteristics of dogs. Some dogs are unfortunate enough to posses all of these qualities, whereas others only hold a few of them.

The latter is preferred in my book, obviously.
Anyone with me?!

Anyways.

All that to say:

World, meet Hudson.

The results of our most recent Sunday Drive are as follows:
1. An incredibly happy husband. Seriously people, I could actually see light in his eyes.
2. A silly little dog who licks me non-stop, sheds, doesn't quite understand

the command "Stay", likes to sleep in the sunlight and is addicted to affection.

I'm no dog lover, but I think the first makes the second fully and completely worth it.

 Plus, I got to pick his name.