Home Sweet Michigan

It's the first day of December, and I sit here wearing a comfy sweater with hot coffee warming my hands.

Winter and Christmas songs play in the background and soothe me while I write.

"The branches have traded their leaves for white sleeves...
All warm blooded creatures make ghosts as they breathe....
Welcome, December, with tireless hope."

I just want to take a minute to say that I love home. I love being in Michigan and being surrounded with family. I love feeling at peace while I sit next to the wood burning stove, breathing deeply as I walk around outside, and falling asleep on the couch watching movies every night.

This is home.

But this place is not mine anymore. I have grown, I have married and left, trying to connect and build a a life in a different state with different people, different places and different feelings.

It's a very strange feeling, belonging so greatly in one place but also knowing that God has you somewhere else for a time. A time that is not defined, and for a reason that is ever-changing. It is a heart-torn feeling that I can never explain perfectly, but one that I hope never goes away.

Belonging somewhere.

Sweet Baby Girl

 

You are beautiful.

You are beautiful.

You are beautiful, and I love you.

Your Daddy and I are amazed by you. We have memorized every one

of your movements on a simple 2-minute ultrasound DVD.

We laugh every time we watch you punch me,

and I'm moved to tears when I watch your little mouth open and close.

You are beautiful.

Mine forever.

From the moment he found out that you're a girl, your Daddy fell even more in love with you.

He is smitten, and my heart is full.

Oh, sweet Addison...

We love you.

- Mama and Daddy

 

Open Hands

Oh, life is hard.

Being still-somewhat-newlywed is hard.

Money is hard.

Preparing the marriage and the bank account for a baby is hard.

So, we made a choice that not many would make.

I quit my job.

Almost an entire month ago, I had my very last day of a job that I had grown to love.

A job that, financially, we 'needed'.

Leaving work only 4 months into my pregnancy can sound crazy to some.

But it was what we truly needed.

More than money, more than financial security.

A scary, terrifying leap of faith.

It's what God was asking me to do.

And it's been wonderful. My heart has found contentment and happiness that it hasn't held in a very long time. I feel joy starting to seep its way back into my marriage, relationships with family and friends, and even my alone time.

I'm starting to become who I was made to be... wife, mama, lover of God.

That's not to say that everything is perfect, because it's not. Honestly, money is tighter and we are struggling more than we ever have... more than I have in my entire life, and it can get pretty scary. Some bills get paid, and some don't. Some meals involve all the food groups, and some consist of macaroni and cheese with cut up hotdogs in it. I can't start buying outfits, books, toys and diapers for The Babe, and date nights are a library movie with, maybe, a Hot-N-Ready.

But the promises of God reach much farther than money will ever be able to. He has promised us that we will always have what we need. What we need. Maybe not the clothes that are in style or the cutest nursery and the perfect nutritional meal. And maybe we will have to ask people for help, once in a while. But God will always, always provide what we need.

This I know. And in this, I have hope.

Above all else, I want my life to be filled with the Kingdom of God. To completely and fully lean on Him for each and every one of my wants and needs. To be excited in what He is doing with my mess-of-a-life, and to long for Him to fulfill His sweet promises.

"When a woman has a kingdom heart, she has an active understanding of what matters most to the heart of God. She energetically pursues Him with every piece of her being. She lives in the balance of passion and contentment. She learns to love well, give without regard to self, and forgive without hesitation. The woman with a kingdom heart may have a duffel bag full of possessions or enough treasures to fill a mansion, but she has learned to hold them all with open hands."

-Angela Thomas, A Beautiful Offering, page 157.

Open hands, Keilah, open hands.

My job.

My relationships.

Money.

Food.

A place to live.

.....my husband and unborn child.

Open hands, Keilah, open hands.

"Look at the birds of the air; They do not sow or reap or store away in barns,

and yet, our heavenly Father feeds them.

Are you not much more valuable than them?"

Matthew 6:26

"...give us this day our daily bread...

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done..."

Weepy

Oh, my sensitive heart is anxious and weepy lately.

Sometimes, I really want all the yucky and heartbreaking stuff in this world to just go away.
I wish that struggles were not reality and worry did not plague the heart.


So if you are looking for song that will not only make you cry,
but also reassure your heart of the incredible, overwhelming, life-sustaining
and always-providing love of the Lord, look these bad boys up:

After All, Meredith Andrews
Steady My Heart, Kari Jobe
My Master, Christy Nockels
Yahweh, Kari Jobe & Desperation Band
Blessings, Laura Story
Savior's Here, Kari Jobe
Love Came Down, Kari Jobe
What Love Is This, Kari Jobe
Never Once, Matt Redman
10,000 Reasons, Matt Redman


He will provide. He will provide. He is our Strength.

Hey Hubs

Just wanted to say thank you for asking me to be your girlfriend, 4 years ago tonight.
It's listed as one of the top ten nights of all my life.

You're pretty sweet.
And I love that you're sweet on me.

No apple orchards for me

Well, September has come and gone, friends. And with it goes almost all chance of taking a trip to the beloved apple orchard. This makes me sad.

See, I have this thing for fall.

A life-long, deep-rooted, sweet sweet love for fall, and all the joy it brings.

September and early October are for apple picking and soups, stews, and casseroles. Late October is for pumpkin carving, trick-or-treating, and walking under colorful leaves. And November is for hot apple cider, wood-burning stoves, and blankets.

(Really though, there is no order here and all these things can be intertwined and done throughout the entirety of the season.)

I say all this nonsense to state this fact… I did not go to an apple orchard this year.

For the second year in a row, people.

Why, you ask?

Let me tell you why.

Because I live in the dang South in a place called Tennessee where Apple Orchards don’t exist and nothing is here to give joy and happiness to any of the little Tennessee children. I can promise you that Michigan wouldn’t ever dare deprive people of such a perfect experience as an apple orchard.

That’s why.

Curses.

Okay. I’m getting a little worked up. There is bitterness in my heart.

SO. Yesterday, I went to Kroger. Yes, Kroger… And picked up a bag of Jonathon Apples from the apple table. Man, what a delightful autumn experience it was. And here is what I did.

BOOM. Applesauce.

Take that, Tennessee.

Here is the recipe, in case you want to try it too!

Crock Pot Applesauce

- 8-10 medium apples. Enough to fill the crock pot. I used Jonathon and a couple Honey Crisp.

- 1 strip of lemon peel. Use a potato peeler.

- 1 tsp. fresh lemon juice.

- 3 inch fresh cinnamon stick.

- 5 or 6 tsp. brown sugar.

- a crock pot.

Here’s what you do.

1.     Peel the apples. Get the core out, and chop them. Put them in the crock pot.

2.     Add everything else into the crock pot.

3.     I put about ¼ Cup of apple cider in there, also, just to see what it would do. And it turned out yummy.

4.     Set crock pot to low/6 hours. Stir every so often. It becomes apple sauce! So easy! Take out the cinnamon stick and use a whisk to blend and chop up the bigger chunks.

5.     You could can the applesauce or just keep it in the fridge. (Should stay fresh in the fridge about 3 weeks)

This made just over two 8-oz Mason jars of applesauce. And let me tell you, it is so delicious.

Needless to say, I will be going back to the orchard Kroger and getting more apples to make more applesauce and other apple goodies.

Note to the 14 week Bump

Oh, hi little Babe.

Happy (almost) 14 weeks to ya!

Last night, your Daddy and I went outside to try and get some pictures of you and I. You know, creative ones that look pretty and such... but, alas, it turns out that your Mama is just as completely and thoroughly awkward as we always knew she was. It's okay though, because we got these two shots, which aren't too shabby at all.

I'm laying in your room right now, and it's so strange that in just a few months, this room will actually start looking like your room... like you belong in here.

You already belong with us. You belong in our family, and we love you so.

We got to hear your heartbeat a few weeks ago and let me tell you, it was one of the best (and weirdest) sounds I've ever heard. You have proven yourself to be the royal stealer of all of my energy, and I never seem to be able to get enough sleep. But we are so happy that you're growing! We can't wait to feel you moving, hopefully soon! Your Daddy is so wonderful, loving on you and working hard for you and doing practically everything for me. I think you'll really like him.

He's already crazy about you.

It's been pouring rain outside all day long. I really hope you like rain and storms as much as your Daddy and I do. So, don't believe the other small fries that you'll be friends with -- storms really aren't scary at all. Kids lie.

But for now, I just ask that you stay safe and keep growing the way you should. God is so good, trusting us to take care of and love you. I pray that you'll grow to know and find joy in His goodness.

Oh, and please forgive me for not eating very healthy... it's hard, you'll learn, to stay away from foods you love when all the healthy stuff looks entirely unappetizing. I have a feeling you and I will be bonding over large amounts of milk & cookies and buttery, cheesy baked potatoes in your future. Yeah, I know, it sounds really yummy right now.

Love you, sweet thing,
Mama


P.S. Here's a horrid picture of me at 10 weeks,
right before I crashed into bed and slept for 11.5 hours straight.